UNIVERSAL Laws...

UNIVERSAL LAWS   . Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. . Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. . Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. . Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. . Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. . Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). . Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. . Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. . Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. . Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.. . Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. . The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. . Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. . Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. . Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. . Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. . Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. .    Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. . Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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