Moving Beyond Appearances
It is our natural inclination to judge people, since it happens
without our even thinking about it. We take one look and
summarize a whole person—overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy.
This habit comes from the mind's need to categorize the world in
order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.
When we judge, we are looking for pertinent information,
trying to determine whether the person approaching is a threat,
an ally, or someone we don't need to worry about. This way of
looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context,
but in our daily lives it leads to an overly simplistic
reading of the people we meet.
If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have
them become a dear friend once you got to know them,
you know the hazards of the judgment cycle firsthand.
An experience like that may have led you to soften your natural
tendency to believe your first impressions. We will always notice
things about the people we meet, but as we become more conscious
of the shortcomings of judgment, we won't be satisfied with
our surface observations.
We may notice that someone is driving an expensive car,
but we will decide whether to befriend her based on getting to
know her over time. We will not rule out a friendship with someone
with messy hair, especially if he turns out to have a great sense of
humor and a kind heart. Liking or disliking a person is a choice you
will naturally make, but it will be after you have gotten to know them.
Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, try to send love, light,
or blessings to the person you were judging. Then try to listen to them
openly or look them in the eye and learn something about them.
If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either.
Trust that with practice, you will successfully disable your habitual patterns.
As you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening
up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of
the people you meet.
Sue Divine
"Even Kings and Emperors with heaps of wealth and vast dominion
cannot compare with an ant filled with the love of God."
It is our natural inclination to judge people, since it happens
without our even thinking about it. We take one look and
summarize a whole person—overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy.
This habit comes from the mind's need to categorize the world in
order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.
When we judge, we are looking for pertinent information,
trying to determine whether the person approaching is a threat,
an ally, or someone we don't need to worry about. This way of
looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context,
but in our daily lives it leads to an overly simplistic
reading of the people we meet.
If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have
them become a dear friend once you got to know them,
you know the hazards of the judgment cycle firsthand.
An experience like that may have led you to soften your natural
tendency to believe your first impressions. We will always notice
things about the people we meet, but as we become more conscious
of the shortcomings of judgment, we won't be satisfied with
our surface observations.
We may notice that someone is driving an expensive car,
but we will decide whether to befriend her based on getting to
know her over time. We will not rule out a friendship with someone
with messy hair, especially if he turns out to have a great sense of
humor and a kind heart. Liking or disliking a person is a choice you
will naturally make, but it will be after you have gotten to know them.
Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, try to send love, light,
or blessings to the person you were judging. Then try to listen to them
openly or look them in the eye and learn something about them.
If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either.
Trust that with practice, you will successfully disable your habitual patterns.
As you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening
up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of
the people you meet.
Sue Divine
"Even Kings and Emperors with heaps of wealth and vast dominion
cannot compare with an ant filled with the love of God."
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