Mr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and founder of the M.K.Gandhi Institute for Non-violence, in his June 9 lecture at theUniversity of Puerto Rico , shared the following story as an example of"non-violence in parenting": "I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the institute mygrandfather had founded 18 miles outside of Durban , South Africa , inthe middle of the sugar plantations. We were deep in the country and hadno neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look forward to goingto town to visit friends or go to the movies. One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an all-dayconference, and I jumped at the chance. Since I was going to town, mymother gave me a list of groceries she needed and, since I had all dayin town, my father ask me to take care of several pending chores, suchas getting the car serviced. When I dropped my father off that morning,he said, ' I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m. , and we will go hometogether. ' After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight to the nearestmovie theatre. I got so engrossed in a John Wayne double-feature that Iforgot the time. It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran tothe garage and got the car and hurried to where my father was waitingfor me, it was almost 6:00. He anxiously asked me, ' Why were you late? 'I was so ashamed of tellinghim I was watching a John Wayne western movie that I said, 'The car wasn't ready, so I had to wait, not realizing that he hadalready called the garage. When he caught me in the lie, he said: 'There's something wrong in the way I brought you up that didn't' giveyou the confidence to tell me the truth. In order to figure out where Iwent wrong with you, I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it.' So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk home in thedark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads. I couldn't leave him, so forfive-and-a-half hours I drove behind him, watching my father go throughthis agony for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and therethat I was never going to lie again. I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had punished me theway we punish our children, whether I would have learned a lesson atall. I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment and gone ondoing the same thing. But this single non-violent action was so powerfulthat it is still as if it happened yesterday. "That is the power of non-violence."
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